Today, I'm letting whatever comes out of these caramel-colored fingers come out. Each time I come on this blog, I really want to write something worthwhile. Something, encouraging, supportive, inspiring. But I got home yesterday, threw on some pajama pants, did a stack of homework, and my brain was in pain. So it was definitely time for some blogging therapy. I have no game plan. Whatever comes to my mind will come out. I just wanna write and see what happens.
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| This is how I normally look. |
I remember my freshman year of high school all too well. That was when I first discovered the wonders of makeup, and went to the mall and bought my first little powder palette. Yes, the shade was the color of Gwen Stefani's skin, but I was
so excited (For the record, it wasn't that light, but it was light enough that I should've been embarrassed. Besides, quality makeup for black people is very difficult to find. Fact.). But I digress. Powder was a new toy. I could make all those little annoying acne marks.... Whoosh! Disappear into thin air! And it was so easy to use, no YouTube makeup tutorials for this girl. I was a natural born prodigy. I knew that if I put on, at least, five layers, I was good to go.
At the school I was going to go at the time, girls touched up between almost every class or every couple of classes, so I thought it was normal. I'd never seen people do that before. So I joined in on the fun, and between every couple of classes, a new layer of powder was absolutely needed. And I thought I looked. The. Bomb. Dot. Com.
Yes, my mom told me I was wearing too much. But I didn't listen. And frankly, I was putting on as much as all of my friends did, so it didn't seem abnormal to me. I probably didn't look crazy to any of my friends either.
And though I never went haywire with eyeshadow, powder was the only makeup I regularly wore, and blush will always be a no-no; when I did wear eyeliner, it always had to be winged, and mascara was almost always needed. It wasn't until much later that year, that I figured out powder was not foundation. And that my natural skin did
not look
nearly as bad as I thought it did. There was this awesome stuff called concealer that I only needed a couple of dabs of if I wanted to look a little polished. And what? My lashes were already black
and naturally curled? And what?? I looked better when I didn't have tons of makeup on? Yeah I sound ridiculous. But that was an honest time of revelations for this girl.
I think about my freshman year a lot, and always compare it to my sophomore year. Boy, how much more confident I am. More comfortable I am. More pleased with myself and who I am and who God's made to be.
That wasn't meant to be a narcissistic moment. And this probably won't sound like anything deep. But oh, how I honestly hope and pray that my foolish freshman little self didn't mess with the heads of any kids younger than me. I don't want any little girl thinking that you always need to touch up. You always need makeup. You need to look flawless 24/7. Makeup is what makes you beautiful. Without it, you die. It's
ridiculous. No one needs makeup to look good. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.
Random makeup tip: If you are oily, do not apply more makeup. Blot yourself. And you don't have to buy the fancy ones from Sephora/Ulta. Use the hard paper towels in the girl's bathroom. They absorb better than tissue paper.
But anyway, there's no need to set aside a day to not wear makeup. Yes, I know all about those weekly no-makeup days. It's a great idea. But creating a
"No Makeup Day" makes not wearing makeup seem like it's some chore. When, really, makeup should just be another choice of what you're going to do in the morning. It's fine to wear makeup. It's fine not to. The problem is when you feel like you can't leave the house without some. And I was like that for about a year.
Before anyone says, "Oh but I have bad skin though." Stop right there. I totally get you, honey boo. I was a pizza face in middle school, and had acne scars and dark spots from it. I did not (still do not) have perfect skin either, by no means. But is it really a good thing that our source of confidence comes from a makeup bag? Nah.
Freshman year is such a big year, and I learned so much about myself in that period of time. But for incoming freshmen, and the now seasoned freshmen, and everyone else. Finding confidence in yourself is a process for sure. You can't just choose to be self-assured. It happens over time, the ultimate source being that you know how much you are valued in Christ's eyes. You can hear that you are "fearfully and wonderfully made" twenty billion times, and it can go in one ear and right out the other. It's 200% true. That psalm is what inspired the title of this here blog, but if you don't make a conscious effort to believe it, you won't gather a thing from it.
Don't let some silly silica hold you down. God doesn't make mistakes.
You are not an exception to that truth. It feels so good to know that your worth comes from God, and not from boys' eyes, and not from girls' eyes. BE YOU.
Enhancing yourself is the purpose of makeup. Makeup is just adding some flair to the beauty that's already there. It's not made to cover yourself up. And if you're not at that point, don't get too down on yourself. But ask God to reveal to you the true, natural beauty He gave you. And study His word. Every bit of it is true.
